I could not sleep last night. Too many things were running in my head.
Last night during my grandpa’s wake, a relative brought over old photos of my grandparents. It was the first time I’ve seen my grandparents wedding photo. First time I’ve seen both of my great-grandfathers as well. They wanted me to scan in all the photos so I carried home a very old tin box filled with photos from the past.
When I reached home, already quite late at night, I found myself staring at my grandparent’s wedding photo for such a long time. They look so young in the photo, only 18 or 19 years old. So serious, so solemn, but with a long bright future right in front of them. Then I wondered what it would be like for me to be old and at my last years, look back at my own wedding photo knowing that, okay… time’s up. You’ve almost finished your race, whether or not you were happy with how the race went, it’s time for you to go off now.
My grandparent’s marriage was arranged by their fathers as a way to improve the business between the two families. My grandma’s father owned a pawn shop and my grandpa’s father owned a gold shop. So gold that gets pawned then gets sold at the gold shop.
Then I found myself wondering what my grandparents were like when they were young. What was it like to marry a man arranged by your parents? Did they fall in love after that? Did they hold hands and plan their future together?
I found another photo, a family photo of my grandparents and their 6 children. 5 boys, 1 girl. All still young children. All still innocent. So what happened? What caused all of them to go on in life each creating their own real-life mini TVB drama series? What caused all the drama and conflict among all the siblings? What caused something that started so innocent end up so ugly?
I stared at that family photo even longer. And when I went to bed, my thoughts couldn’t stop. All my life I have been isolated from my family and have been brought up hearing ugly stories about them. If you grew up being taught that the world is flat only to one day realize that the world is round, I’m sure you’d been stunned for a while. For the past week, I’ve been getting to know my family through my hubby. All strange and new for me.
And then I realized something. Whatever happened during my parent’s generation is not mine to inherit and carry. It’s not my battle to fight. I don’t care which relative is horrible and which is not in the eyes of my parents. I’ve decided to see with my own eyes and make my own decisions. If one relative is horrible, that relative can be as horrible as (s)he want’s to be, I don’t care and I don’t want to care. But I shall no longer isolate the whole family just because of the boogie monsters from the past (who should be really old boogie monsters with wrinkles and white hair by now).
After making peaces with the old wrinkly boogie monsters from the past, I finally managed to fall asleep last night. I still have young boogies monsters of my generation to battle, but I’ll leave those alone for another time.
I hope that one day if I have grandchildren, they will also one day find my wedding photos as one of their most precious family treasures. Only that unlike me, they wouldn’t be wondering what their grandparents were like.
They would already know.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Photos of the past
Posted by Mindy at 10:34 AM 6 comments
Labels: Mindys favourite posts, Reflection on life
Sunday, March 28, 2010
With one candle lit
My 83 year old grandma observed the Earth hour last night. I'm so
proud of her. Though her reason of doing it is because she thinks it's
the law to do so. She even asked whether she is allowed to light
candles. :)
When i left her house last night, she was sitting there alone with
only 1 candle lit. Alone in the dark knowing that my grandpa whom she has been
with for the past 6 decades was dying and would not live to see the next day.
If I ever have to live through a day like that, I hope I can be as
strong as her.
Posted by Mindy at 8:40 PM 2 comments
Labels: Mindys favourite posts, Reflection on life
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Boogies
Because I've been visiting my grandpa at the hospital frequently these past few days, it meant I was bumping into a lot of other relatives there. And Mindy is no family person, no siree.
Because of such frequent encounters, my 3 favourite boogie monsters take this opportunity to come out and play. The boogie monsters have been following me around everyday. There's the Self Pity boogie monster that sits beside me at night. And there's the Angry boogie monsters that's still so pissed off until now. And there's Depressed boogie monster sitting at the corner of my cube quietly making me wanna crawl back into bed into the arms of Self Pity boogie.
It's been a tough week having to entertain all the boogie. And I'm tired. So today I decided to have a 1-1 with the 3 of them. I decided to face them as a rational adult. I decided to make a deal with them. Leave me alone for just one weekend.
And you know what? It actually turned out okay. And whatever happens, for this one weekend, I shall be boogie free and happy.
And seriously, I'm convinced that I write a script about my family story, it would be a very successful TVB drama. I can envision how the drama will start and how the drama will end followed by the closing credits. Surely very entertaining wan, I guarantee you. ;)
See you again one day. I shall always love you, boogie or not.
Posted by Mindy at 1:17 PM 2 comments
Labels: Mindy's Rantings
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Thank you
I just wanna say a big thank you to those to made the effort to either go to the hospital or who messaged me to let me know they would donate if they could. I've realized that it's actually not easy to find blood donors. I always assumed that there are so many people out there. If I don't donate, somebody else will.
But when it's your turn who needs blood, you'll realize that not everybody can donate. And most people will give the excuse of being afraid to donate. I being one of them before this.
But watching the patients in the ICU fight for their lives, I am very ashamed of myself that my excuse of not donating before is because I'm afraid of a needle. What's a needle in comparison to fighting death?
I went to the ICU to visit my grandpa again. Usually they only allow two visitors per patient at one time. When I entered, I saw a crowd of more than 10 people around the patient next to my grandpa. They were crying and wailing and calling out to that patient. I guess they were there to say their last goodbyes. I felt so sad for them. So so so sad.
I can't imagine what it's like to be a patient in the ICU, already being so near to death, and having to listen to the sounds of death around you. Made me feel like all the problems in life which we usually complain about is so meaningless in comparison.
Posted by Mindy at 8:45 AM 1 comments
Labels: Reflection on life
Thursday, March 18, 2010
A story to tell, a favor to ask
When I see my grandparents, I see a part of my history. When you are young, you think they will live forever. And because my family has as much drama as a TVB drama... I, and I can see that my other cousins as well, were brought up in a way that we hated our family gatherings. Going to the grandparents house for a visit seemed such a chore.
Due to further family problems, I stopped seeing them for years. I stopped seeing anyone considered family. If I do not see family, I can forget about all the boogie monsters from the past.
After a great struggle and persuasion from my relatives from my mum's side who hunted me down and refused to let me distance myself from them, I agreed to visit my paternal grandparents again. Only this time, I went on my own free will with the hubby. No longer being dragged by my dad.
This past 2 years, through my hubby, I've gotten to know my grandparents. My grandparents can only speak Cantonese, which I can't. So hubby speaks to them instead. The hubby has a way of being extra charming to grannies, he just needs to give them his specialized granny award winning smile and the grannies love him.
Needless to say, my grandma ADORES him. The two will sit down and chat for an hour like old friends. She tells the hubby lots of stories, stories of when she was young girl and how her marriage was arranged with my grandpa, stories of the Japanese occupation, stories of all my other relatives who are practically strangers to me.
I suddenly realized that the grandparents are part of my history. They are part of who I am today. I'm extremely disappointment with my parents for everything that happened and I'm glad that I made the decision to reconnect with my grandparents again.
My grandparents are old. They can no longer go out. They no longer care about all the mistakes of the past. All they want is for their family to drop by to see them once in a while. To me, it's just one hour out of a busy day, which I admit that sometimes I postpone week to week. To them, it's the highlight of the whole week. They now spend their life waiting for somebody to drop by for a visit, waiting for the doorbell to ring.
I hardly ask for favors. At least I try not to. When I had my surgery, I insisted that I could drive to the hospital myself to have the surgery stitches taken out. That was a very bad idea. The next time you see a car crawling on the road, take pity because it might a poor girl on her way to get her stitches out.
Today I need to ask for a favor. My grandpa is in the ICU. He needs blood. If you can donate, I will be very grateful. If you can't, it's okay... no obligations.
I've been visiting my grandpa these past few days. For him, it's a fight to see the next morning sun. For me, it could be the last time I see him. That my goodbye to him may be the last.
We all grow old. But we always deny it. We think we have all the time in the world. We take the next day, month, year for granted. But one day time runs out. Then comes the desperation to hang on just to see one more day.
I sense that desperation around me whenever I enter the ICU to see my grandpa. I see that desperation in my grandpa's eyes every time I look at him. When I see how hard he has to fight just to see tomorrow, I feel like it's a sin for me to carelessly take tomorrow for granted.
If I lose my grandpa, I feel like I'll lose part of my roots. I've only begun to get to know my grandparents. To get to know a part of my history. And they still has plenty of stories to tell, stories that I want to hear.
If you can donate blood to my grandpa, the details are as the following. Any blood type will do.
Loo Yok Choon, 0041977
Adventist Hospital
Comments off. No obligations.
Posted by Mindy at 12:35 AM 0 comments
Labels: Reflection on life
Sunday, March 14, 2010
"Eating Mummy Food" position
Let me introduce you to the "Eating Mummy Food" position. In the "Eating Mummy Food" position, both legs are lifted up onto the chair in a ah-pek sytle to demonstrate that one is relaxed and pleased.
Yes, this position can only be achieved when one is absolutely delighted to be eating mummy's home cook food. Because mummy's home cook is cooked with lots of love which has made him grown into a big strong boy.
While in the "Eating Mummy Food" position, one becomes so happy with the food, his eyes light up and he shoves food into his mouth faster than he can chew. And after the "Eating Mummy Food" position is over, the bowls are licked clean.
Unfortunately this "Eating Mummy Food" position does not apply to the wife's cooking. Cis.
Seriously... the hubby has been a very happy person the past 1 week because my mum-in-law has been staying with us. And I've been a very happy person too.
She cooks and cleans and even does all the nagging for me, "Ah How ah.... you dowan to bath yet ah???". "Ah How ah.. you dowan to wake up yet ah??", "Ah How ah, you dowan to go to work yet ah??.
Yes, the wife has been a happy person indeed. ;)
Posted by Mindy at 5:39 PM 1 comments
Labels: The Hubby
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Welcome to Sang Spa
If you go to Bali, one of the must dos over there is to go for a spa. It's very very much cheaper over there. A normal body massage here would cost around RM60 - RM70 for 45 minutes. Before going to Bali, I booked the following package for the four of us girls.
That's about RM67. Very very very worth it.
When I booked the spa, I requested that the 4 of us to have our spa done at the same done. They granted our request with the condition that 2 of us have to be in the same the couple's room since they do not have that many rooms available.
When we reached the spa, customer service was excellent as expected. We sat in the couple's room while waiting for the 2 other individual rooms to be available. Jasmine was telling us how shameless she was and how she wouldn't mind using the couple room (without realizing she was shamelessly announcing to everybody else in the spa about how shameless she was. As you can see the rooms as just divided by bamboo walls)
In the end, I volunteered to share the couple's room with Jasmine. We were given a pair of disposable panties to wear and a towel to wrap around. And let's just say that the disposable panties were one size fit all. I turned it around a few times because there was too much cloth in the front and too little behind. I was wearing the most ugliest grandmother panties ever.
The two of us were giggling nervously at the thought of accidentally seeing each other naked. When the staff came in and told us that after the spa, the two of us had to share the same jacuzzi naked,
Jasmine dear... as much as I love you, I do not want to be bathing in a tub of flowers while we are both naked. You would be staring at my boobies and I would be staring at your boobies. And we suddenly wouldn't know what to say to each other.
The staff laughed at how embarassed we were and told us, "Mat Salleh girls... they don't mind seeing each other naked". Excuse me... I'm no Mat Salleh. As open as I am, I still cannot not bear the thought of being naked in a bath face to face with another person who is not my hubby.
In the end, much to my relief, the staff said they would bring us towels to cover ourselves. And thus the spa was going to begin when all of a sudden.... there was an electricity black out. I was relief again, because it meant we would be in the dark and Jasmine wouldn't see my boobies.
The 2 hour spa was heavenly. They started out with a full body massage. And when I say full, I mean full including your boobies and your naked butt. When I went for a massage in Penang, they put a towel across my chest so I wasn't as bare like this. But I didn't seem to have to problem letting the masseuse see my boobies.
I mean, she probably has seen all types of boobies out there right? Fat ones, skinny ones, dark ones, fair ones, beautiful ones, saggy ones, two by two. So the thought of her seeing my boobies seemed okay since it was part of her everyday job and it didn't bother me that much.
And yes I've noticed I'm using the word "boobies" a lot in this post.
After the body massage, then came the body scrub. That felt good............. After that, was the body mask where they put mud mask all over my body and wrapped me up like a cocoon. That felt good for a while until it started heating up and getting warmer and warmer.
Because Jasmine and I did not want to see each other's boobies, Jasmine got up and went to the shower first and started chit chating with the staff while they showered her. I was stuck in my cocoon silently screaming, "Jasmine!!! Quit talking... I need to get out of my cocoon before I start melting!!!".
Finally it came to my turn to shower. After the shower, they put yougurt all over my body and I showered it off again. Then they gave me a little towel to wrap my body and into the jacuzzi I went, where Jasmine was already waiting for me. The staff gave us our hot tea and left us alone in the room.
So there we were, 2 almost naked girls wearing grandmother panties in the jacuzzi filled with romantic flowers and only 2 candles for light.
The two of us started giggling and gigling and giggling. We were giggling so loudly and Mun Yi in the other room thought we must be giggling because we were bathing naked with each other.
I was clinging onto my towel the whole time like my life depended on it while Jasmine didn't feel that bothered about it and was playing with the flowers and drinking her tea happy and relaxed.
Jasmine mentioned how romantic it was and said I should do it with the hubby one day. But then she changed her mind and said the hubby might be turned off when he sees me wearing grandmother panties.
I was thinking, which would be more of a turn off... him seeing me wearing grandmother panties... or me seeing him wearing grandmother panties. Naughty images entered my mind. More giggling followed.
And just as our spa was about to end, the electricity came back on.
After the 2 hour spa, we were as happy as four girls could be. We felt so refreshed and renewed and our skin was as soft as a baby's bottom. We slipped into our dresses and got the staff there to drive us to Jazz cafe.
Look at how glowing our skin looks. Too bad I didn't show my legs off in the photo. Darn!
For more information about Sang Spa, go to http://www.sangspa.com/
Okay... this should be the last post about Bali. You're probably sick of reading about my Bali craze by now.
Posted by Mindy at 7:24 PM 5 comments
Labels: Bali, In a strange land, Mindys favourite posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Nefatari Exclusive Villa
When we reached Bali, we were excited. Collected our rented car and we were off to Ubud. The GPS map I downloaded for Bali could not be used so we ended up depending entirely on the maps we printed out before we left.
You can't really get lost driving from Kuta to Ubud because there's only one main road all the way. We were feeling so excited and eager until we reached..... the traumatic slope.
It was a terribly sharp U-turn onto the slope and it's was one of the steepest slopes we drove on. Soma couldn't get the under-powered Avanza up the slope and it kept dying again and again and again and we were panicking and panicking and panicking. Jasmine calmed Soma down and she reversed down, stepped of the accelerator with all her might and drive up the slope.
After that incident, Soma was my hero. I would have just sat there crying. Or I would have gotten out of the car and grab somebody from the roadside to drive the car.
Anyway, that slope was the only disadvantage of staying in Nefetari Villa because you'll always have to pass it whenever you leave the villa. When we finally saw the Nefatari sign, we almost cried with joy.
At night when you come back, you'll find that they already placed mosquito coils in each bathroom to get rid of the mosquitoes.
For more information about the villa, go to http://www.nefatari-bali.com/room.html.
Posted by Mindy at 4:37 PM 10 comments
Labels: Bali, In a strange land, Snapshots
Friday, March 5, 2010
Bali love
Overall I found Bali breathtakingly beautiful. Unless they are trying to sell you something, the people there are generally nice (though some were a little intimidating). I love how simple and beautiful their life is. So rich in culture and religion.
When I was there, I didn't have access to the internet, nor did I watch any TV. I felt so free, so disconnected from everything. I did not have the need to check my email or my facebook or my twitter. Every morning, I woke up before the alarm clock went off at 7am and listened to the sounds of the birds chirping.
This was truly a holiday. I wish I had one more day to just chill out by the beach with a book in my hand. It felt so wonderful just to enjoy the simple joys of life. Eating, relaxing and sleeping. And to enjoy the natural beauty of Bali. The only stressful part of the trip was driving without a proper map and no GPS. I have never seen Soma so stressed out before. But still, it was an adventure. ;)
Took me some time to face the reality of going back to work. I suddenly felt that it was so quiet at work, everybody isolated in their own cubicles doing their own thing. I'm wondering... is being isolated in a cubicle for 10 hours a day, is that really called living life?
I sometimes wish that I could have the simple life without the unnecessary stress we tend to create for ourselves. However, I will never have the guts to try that out. And I think that after a while, I'll become restless. So maybe some stress in life is required for me. I tend to get bored easily and having some kind of stress keeps me occupied and moving forward.
I'm glad I got the chance to go to Bali with 3 other fabulous girls. It was something we wanted to do since we were school kids and decided we had to do it now before one of us starts popping out babies.
I know Yin How would love Bali, but that guy has decided he doesn't like traveling. I don't dare if I have to drag his skinny ass all the way to Bali, I'm definitely going there one day again with him. :)
Will blog more about the wonderful villa and the spa later.
Posted by Mindy at 1:27 PM 4 comments
Labels: Bali, In a strange land, Snapshots
Thursday, March 4, 2010
4 day 3 night Bali itinerary
As promised, I'm sharing out the itinerary we used for our Bali trip. What is written in blue was the original itinerary.
Day 1 - Ubud
- Car rental was RP230,000 per day with insurance. I recommend Indotrans car rental. Their service was excellent.
- Do not trust Google map's estimation. Instead of 1 hour, we took 2 1/2 hours to get there.
- Do not get an Avanza. It's very under powered. There was such a terrible steep road on the way to the villa and we were panicking like crazy when the car kept dying on the slope. (In the panic and excitement, I accidentally sat on my sunglasses. So sad.)
- Driving in Bali is worst than Penang, but still okay (if you're a seasoned Penang driver). The roads are narrow and there are lots of bikes everywhere. I didn't drive because there were only manual cars there, so Soma and Jasmine did all the driving.
- In Penang, honking on the road means, "Get off the road you ASSHOLE!". In Bali, every time a car honked us, Soma started cursing. We only realized later that honking was a way to tell you, "Excuse me, I'm going to overtake you now". And pretty soon, Jasmine was honking away like a professional.
Day 2
We decided to skip this. The 4 girls decided shopping was more important. We gathered our courage and went back into Ubud Market.
- According to the forums, Ubud Market is suppose to be the cheapest in Bali. However, if you don't know how to bargain, don't shop there. The lady quoted me RP100,000 for a wood carving that I was interested it. I bargained until RP40,000 which I thought was cheap. When I went to Kuta, I saw the same thing for RP15,000. Felt so cheated. :(
- Don't buy dresses in Ubud. They don't have that many selection. In Kuta, they have hundreds and hundreds of dresses. Needless to say, I went a little gila over the dresses. Bought 6. Average price is RP40, 000 per dress which is around RM14. So cheap okay.
When we reached the temple, we saw so many locals and we chose not to enter the temple. People were there for their prayers and we girls in our skimpy little tops and shorts were like goofballs posing for the camera. Didn't feel right. So we left after 15 minutes.
When we finally reached there, we almost ran to down to the temple but by then we saw huge crowds of people walking out. The sun had already set. We missed it by 10 minutes and were so disappointed. However, Tanah Lot is still a magnificent sight. Will definitely go there again. Also, there are lots of shops there and we bought stuff which were 3 times cheaper of what we paid in Ubud.
Leave at 7pm, reach Seminyak at 7.30pm. Have dinner. Then shop at Seminyak until shops closes. Seminyak is more the expensive side, so I doubt we will shop much here.
We skipped this because we wanted to head to Kuta to check into our hotel. And along the way, we got hopelessly loss in Kuta because the roads there are one-way. It was almost 10pm and I was ready to just give up and get a taxi to the hotel and have Soma drive the car following from behind. But Soma insisted that she could find the way.... and eventually she did!
Around RM70 per person in a Quad room.
Day3
Then shopping at Kuta. Popular store to check out is Body and Soul
Body and Soul wasn't that nice. Ended up shopping in other stalls in Kuta. Went crazy over the dresses there. So cheap... so so so cheap....
After lunch - Leave at 1.30pm, reach Pantai Geger Nusa Dua at 2pm, (famous beach for sunbathing). Mun Yi, you can try looking for surfing lessons here.
We skipped this after the extremely long journey from Tirta Empul to Tanah Lot. We decided that we can only visit one place in one day due the the long distance between two places.
However, people were not exaggerating about the scary monkeys there. We were too cheap skate to get our own tour guide and went in like a group of 4 chickens with no leader. Just about 15 feet into the temple and the 4 chickens got freaked out by a monkey by the roadside. So the 4 chickens decided to leach onto other people's tour guides. Where they went, the 4 chickens went as well.
I was following a Japanese girl from behind and she started screaming hysterically went a monkey jumped on here. All the time I was thinking, "Do not make eye contact with the monkeys!". A monkey ended up stealing her spectacles.
My advice is that if you are afraid of the monkeys, don't be a cheapskate and just get a tour guide!
We sat under the sun for 1 hour waiting for the Kecak dance. I enjoyed the dance.
Day 4
Cost of the whole trip,
Flights + 1 night in private villa with pool + 2 nights in hotel + transportation + food + 2 hour spa + lots and lots of shopping = RM1500
Will blog more about what I think about Bali in another post. Hubby wants to use the laptop now. Hubby, if you love me, you'll buy me my own laptop. :)
Posted by Mindy at 10:18 PM 10 comments
Labels: Bali, In a strange land, Snapshots