Love

(This is a post I actually wrote a long time ago but I didn't publish and forgot about it until I stumbled over it today.)

A few days ago, I was telling Yin How about all the crushes I had since I was a kid. I think my first crush was when I was in Standard 2 (yes, I started young). I had this crush on my class mate. 2nd crush was on a childhood friend. 3rd crush was when I was in Form 3 on a guy in tuition classes. 4th crush was in Form 4 on a guy from church.

I stopped there. Yin How looked at me waiting and said, “Then?”.
I replied, “Then what? Oh…… no, I never had a crush on you.”

Hehehehehe… (his ego was a bit deflated for a while).

Yin How was my first and only boyfriend. He chased me so I never had an initial crush on him. At that time, at 18 years old, it was really literally, "I like you, be my wife" (I repeat, wife). So simple right? At that time, excited about having my first boyfriend, I thought, “Aiyah… just try try only la, there’s nothing to lose what”…

And because he was there since the beginning, he was always a part in whatever plans I had. We grew up together, graduated from college together, found our first jobs together, put our salaries into one account, bought our first car together, bought our first home together. And then 7 years later I did marry him. And even now, I’m amaze how much I can love a person for so long. I love him even more now than then.

But as simple as things can be, the actual fact is that it's amazing that two people who are biologically so different can live together for the rest of their lives. Men and women were just made to function and think differently. So it does really take A LOT of work and effort in a relationship. But of course, if you both love each other, no amount of work is too hard. And the amount of happiness you’ll gain make is all so worth it.

I have friends who are looking for the love of their live. I have friends with complicated relationships. I have friends who are nervous about getting married.

It all can very simple. He loves you. You love him. He can’t live without you. You can’t live without him. If you have a problem with your partner, compare that problem with the thought of a life without him. See which is worst and you'll get your answer.

Also, he must love you back in return. One-sided love is not a real relationship, it’s a relationship of seeing the things you want to see, and being blind to what you don’t want to see. How long how a relationship like that last? For the rest of your life? Maybe for you, but will he commit to that for the rest of his life as well?

Fairytale romance will not last forever. Sentimental ideas will not last forever. The magical moments portrayed in movies will not last forever. What will last is the reality of waking up every morning, seeing your husband wearing his ugliest shabby pajamas, face unshaven, morning breath so foul that it will send the dogs sneezing and jumping off the bed.

Despite all of that, in your eyes you’ll think he’s still all so sexy in the morning and you'll love him a little more each day.

(Minus the morning breath, of course. That one, really can die wan okay).