Stopping for a moment to think

I'm in the office now and it's so freaking quiet. The only thing I can hear is the sound of me typing on my keyboard.

Yesterday I saw something that shocked and disturbed me. If I were a superstitious Chinese, this would be absolutely the worst thing to see on the second day of CNY. I'm going to stop complaining about how much I hate CNY. Someone else's CNY is way worst than mine. I have no right to complain.

When pissed about something, rant all you want, get it out of your system, then shut up and move on. Life is just to short to dwell on unimportant things.

If you knew that this hour would be your last, what would you do? Or if you knew that next week would be your last week? Or this month would be your last?

Would you tell your love ones that you love them? Would you hug them and never let go? Would only do the things that truly make yourself happy? Would you eat to your hearts content? Would you watch the last sunrise? Would you smile, stand still and just enjoy the moment while it last?

Or would you be working overtime on a job which gives no shit about you? Spending your last hours on something which you don't want to do but have to do? Worrying about how your investment portfolio would look like for the next few months? Remain pissed off about something unimportant? Whine that your butt looks too fat?

We always complain that we have no time. But it's ironic that if told that this hour would be the last hour in life, probably we would find the time to do all we really need to do.

Problem is that life always has it's sharp turns. And sometimes we move so fast in life and miss those turns.

And then it's too late.

The Chinese who hates Chinese New Year

I have made it through the first two days of CNY. More "When are you going to have a baby?" questions and "You have put on weight" remarks. I hate CNY.

It's weird having to give out angpows instead of receiving them this year. A reminder that I'm getting older and turning into one of them "aunties".

I always thought that when I turned into an "auntie" I would automatically know how to act like one. I would know how tell children, "Say Gong Xi Fa Chai before I give you an angpow" or insist that they call me "Auntie Mindy". But I found myself quiet, clueless and out of place. I definitely do not feel like I'm one of the "aunties" yet.

It's not over yet. More CNY visiting and reunions this weekend, this time with my complicated side of the family. Time to start practicing the art of fake smiling and master the skill of avoiding awkward questions.

Why oh why must CNY be 15 days loooonnnnnggg? I wish I could dig a hole and hide in it until CNY is over.

Sigh... I hate CNY.

CNY? :(

Chinese New Year is not a good time for me. In fact it's the worst time of the year for me. Because of family problems, CNY for me involves having to put on a fake smile in front of everybody then having the day end with lots of fighting and crying at home.

Now as an adult, I no longer have to go through that anymore. But the childhood memories are still there.

My most ideal CNY would be taking a one week holiday far away where I don't have to do things I don't want to do. But being someones wife now, I cannot do that as I have an obligation to spend CNY with his family. Though I wish he could truly understand what CNY really means to me.

Yes, I am a Chinese who grew up without a Chinese identity. The Chinese who cannot relate to any Chinese traditions, the Chinese who doesn't speak Chinese... the "fake Chinese who doesn't celebrate CNY" as my friends like to say. I am a "banana", yellow outside white on the inside, so what?

And for the record, both of us are NOT NOT NOT planning to have a baby yet. Is it compulsory that once a couple is married, they must immediately jump into bed to work on making babies? People, we are still wearing protection, so I doubt anything is going to happen unless there's that o.o1% possibility.

I don't mind people asking me the baby question, but having it asked again and again in one day? Tiring!

"When are you planning to have one?"
"You have put on weight... is it because of any good news?"
"You should start trying this year so that you'll get one by next year"
"Everybody has kids now, when is it your turn?"

Okay, I'm done with my ranting. Tomorrow is CNY. Be brave and SMILE through more baby questions!~~

Oh, and CNY is not all bad. It's the only time in the year when Yin How is more obsessed than me in cleaning the house. I, of course, gleefully took this opportunity to get him to clean everything including the horribly messed up storeroom where you cannot enter but only throw things in. It's almost 10:30pm and he's busy mopping the floor... the 2nd time already. :)

Happy Chinese New Year everybody. May your CNY be less tiring than mine. :)

Last minute cancelation

Just 1 week before the trip, management decides to tell me that the trip has been canceled because of the current economic sitution. I'm not so pissed that the trip was canceled, but rather because they had to tell me 1 week before when everything has been arranged and confirmed.

It would have been really much nicer if they could have told me earlier instead of 1 week before the trip. Yesterday, the trip was still approved, today it has been canceled. Gee, did the economic situation change so dramatically from yesterday to today?

Yes, senior management has no control over the current economic situation, but they do have control over how they are going to manage it.

Will I be missed?

I’m so stuck at a software bug for a feature I wish they would just obsolete. Anyway, need to release some geram-ness by blogging about some stuff.

I will be going away next week for a 2 week business trip. When I first told Yin How, he said, “Go longer la”. I asked whether he would miss me, just answer yes or no, but he refused to reply. Yin How would never admit to such an “un-macho” thing. He had already started planning to

1. Go to Genting with his buddies
2. Celebrate his friends birthday
3. Have a steamboat for CNY at home and invite all his colleagues over
4. Go back to Butterworth to stay with his parents
5. Let Russell sleep beside him on the bed (which I do not allow)
6. Bla bla bla...

Of course, he can’t do most of the above because he can’t leave the dogs alone overnight. But still… he was excitedly planning all sorts of things to do while I’m away. I felt so unmissed, and I wasn’t even gone yet.

Then yesterday, when he was in the bedroom and I was in the toilet, he suddenly said in a very small voice, “What am I going to do for 2 weeks? What am I going to eat for 2 weeks?”

I smiled to myself. I know he will miss me. :)

Don't underestimate me

I still survived the dance aerobics session despite missing it for 3 weeks. Woot!~ I'm fitter than you think ok (to the two guys who were betting I wouldn't last). Though how much ache I'll feel tomorrow will be another story. :P

Let's see how I'll do after missing the session for the coming 4 weeks. :)

Please forgive my handphone

I was shopping with Mun Yi and Shu-Yin for something for Yin How and I wasn't sure whether he would like it. They asked me take a photo of it but I didn't bring a camera. Both of them turned and looked at me like I was dumb and replied at the same time, "Use your camera phone la!" like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Excuse me but my handphone is old la... no bluetooth, no mp3 player, no 3g. Though it does have a very blur tiny camera. They insisted that I took a photo with it and laughed when they saw how pathetic and unrecognizable the photo looked.

I refuse to buy a new handphone yet. Why? Because

1. I feel no pain when the handphone drops
2. I don't even notice when there are new scratches in my handphone, they just blend in with all the existing scratches and teeth marks signed personally by my dogs
3. I don't worry when I accidentally leave my handphone overnight in the office... nobody would want it
4. I don't feel sakit hati when I see a newer better more recent handphone model on sale - almost every phone now is better then mine
5. And when people cannot reach me I can just say, "It's my handphone's fault"

But course, if I can get hold onto an iPhone, forget what I said above. I'll throw my handphone away in a second.

I know that some of you find calling me on my handphone extremely frustrating. It's either dead, or I don't pick up the handphone. And usually if you send me a sms, I might not reply until a day later. Sometimes I don't realize my handphone has been dead for days because it was burried and forgotten in my handbag and when I turn it on, I get a flood of sms coming in,

"Mindy, you wanna have dinner this Sunday?" Oppss.. read it on Monday.
"Mindy, please bring a camera to work tmrw". Opsss, tomorrow is today already.
"Mindy, wanna meet up at coffee bean at 9.30pm?". Opsss, read it at 9.20pm.
"Mindy, why you always don't pick up your phone wan" Ok... sensing frustration, better call back immediately.

SORRY SORRY SORRY... my old handphone is dying so please be patient ya. :( You can always call Yin How in case of emergency right?. :)

Why I love Yin How

1. Because he rubs my tummy when i have a tummy ache (after I force him to do so)
2. Because he makes a cup of Milo when I'm hungry (after I force him to do so)
3. Because he cooks for me if I come home late from work
4. Because he does the laundry every weekend (else he’ll have no clothes to wear the following week) and helps me with the housework (after a little nagging) and he irons his own clothes
5. Because he buys and cuts fruits for me when I'm constipated
6. Because he says the most ridiculous things which makes me laugh
7. Because he is kind to animals and would buy a bun for a hungry stray dog he sees one at kopitiam
8. Because he respects his elders, and teaches me to do the same
9. Because he loves and looks after the dogs so I know he'll make a good father
10. Because he loves me too

Happy 27th Birthday!~ Can't believe you are so old already.

Done fixing all the Ikea stuff

Finished fixing all the stuff we bought from Ikea. Yin How was drilling holes in the wall the whole day while I sat there admiring his little muscles popping out from his skinny body.

Actually it's not much considering how much we spent. Ikea's stuff are expensive. They make you think it's cheap by pricing everything individually. But when you buy the whole set, it's actually quite expensive.

Yin How has now got his little bar corner to hang his wine bottles and glasses. And he likes to pretend to go over to that little corner and ask me in his macho voice, "Do you want a drink?" which cracks me up because Yin How can't drink and he doesn't drink. He just likes to imagine he can.

Next time meet up at my place ya. :)

Hmmm... Sparkle is getting too fat

How leh?