Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ignorance vs. reality - take 2

Was going to post this as a comment to the previous post, but the comment became too long. :)

Honestly I was once naive. And I was once one of those who arrogantly believe that good things will happen to good people. But there's not always true in reality. You'll either have to fight to survive or just give up and fall back. I've dealt some people who were so selfish, I got burnt in the end. So sometimes, we have to be selfish in return to protect ourselves.

Some people are sheltered all of their lives. And when we have children, we tend to protect them the best we can as well. But is there such thing as being over-protective? I think so.

A lot of us still have our parent's protection until now. Whenever something difficult happens, we can run back to our parents who will instinctively protect or help us. But if you have lost that kind of protection at a young age or worst, if the child had to become the mature one instead of the parent, it's a whole different story. You have been surviving without that kind of protection for a long time.

I think that during the older times, our parent's parents do not shelter them as much as the parents today who over-protect their children.

My point is, if you lose that sheltered protection especially when you're young, only then will you realize how sheltered others are. And sometimes what other people take for granted, you'll have to work 10 times harder just to get it.

Most of the time, people who only believe in good are people who never really had a bad experience in life before. Because when you have gone through a bad experience, you'll realize that whether you like it or not, there will be good and bad in life and sometimes you can't control it. Sometimes it's not a matter of choice. It just happens. You can still continue to believe in good, but it's with the realization that it's not something to be taken for granted, it's not something that will always happen for sure just because you think so.

If you believe that "buat baik dibalas baik", so this means that "buat buruk dibalas buruk"? So meaning, for example, all people who die of cancer must be really bad people? Or children born into an abusive home must be because they are born bad?

I know some really good people who had to deal with really bad things. And I know of some shitty people who seem to have everything good happening for them. So no, I do not believe that just because you do good means only good will happen to you.

Yes, some bad things can be handled by the how we decide to handle it and the choices we make. But some things just can't. Like can you choose who your parents are? Can you choose to be born healthy? Can you gurantee that tomorrow when you go out, you won't be killed by a drunk driver? Some bad things just cannot be controlled no matter how good a person you are.

For me, I do not believe the world is a good world. I believe that the world is a world of both good and bad. Some of us get more bad then others. But like you commented, there's always something positive to take from it, which are the lessons you learn on the way. And it makes you stronger and not give up so easily whenever something bad comes along. And if you handle it right, it makes you a better, wiser and a more mature person.

BTW, no shit has happened to me recently. This topic popped up as a discussion Yin How and I were having yesterday. :)


chiaoju said...

yes. i agree that most of us have been overly protected since young. not that im blaming the parents, but to some extent, when you're overly protected, you tend to lose out in gaining a lot of experiences.

i always believe that ppl learn from failing/falling. again, like what you said to me once, what doesn't kill you only make you stronger. and i cannot agree more.

as for the buat baik dibalas baik -- i still believe in karma. as far as karma goes, it's not just for this life. sometimes, the bad things you may need to face this life, is probably for the bad things you've done many lifes ago. we'll never know though, but i guess in some ways, when one thinks like that, they won't dwell too much over the suffering.

=) have a good weekend!