It's very common to receive forwarded emails or read articles in the newspaper about snatch thieves. And when we do, we usually make a note to be careful ourselves, then probably forget about the story the next minute. You'll probably do the same after reading this. But if you witness it, you'll get a different feeling.
Yin How and I were walking back from Tesco just now and was almost reaching home when we heard a girl screaming across the road near E-Gate. It was dark and they were blocked from our view by the cars parked by the roadside. We couldn't really see what was going on so at first we thought it was a bunch of girls playing a fool until the screaming got a little more serious. When it finally registered in our heads that there was a guy trying to snatch her bag, we were stunned and just froze. And before we could snap out of our shock, the guy snatched the bag away, coolly walked away, jumped onto his friend's bike and they sped away.
When the girl was screaming, there were people around. There were the guards at E-Gate who should have been quite near, there were guards at Bayswater just across the street and there were a few passersby besides Yin How and I. And when it happened, only 1 guy rushed to help but was too late. After the snatch thieves sped away, I saw the E-Gate guards walk towards the victims.
Yin How and I felt really bad for not helping. But at that moment, we were confused then shocked and we just froze. Yin How wished he did something to help but he was just too stunned. And I'm even ashamed to admit that at that moment I felt like I should just stay out of the trouble instead of helping. And it all happened so fast.
This is the not the first time something like this happened to us. Once Yin How and I were going for dimsum at Thai Thong. We found a parking spot and happily parked the car. As we opened the doors to go out, we heard a commotion of people yelling. I quickly told Yin How to close the doors and lock it. A moment later, we saw a huge crowd of people chasing an Indian guy. He struggled from their grasp and fell onto the bonnet of our car. The crowd caught up with him, pinned him against the bonnet of my car at started hitting him with a bike helmet while Yin How and I were sitting in the car in total shock watching the whole incident.
The difference between that incident with what happened today is that the whole kampung of old people rushed out of their shops/restaurants to help catch the snatch thief. Unlike today where most of us who were younger adults just stood and stared. I remember that Fly.fm was once discussing about this. The older generation are more likely to help out compared to the younger generation when something like this happens. I have to agree, we tend to have the "just stay out of trouble" mentality.
Honestly if the same incident happened to me again, I don't know whether I would be brave enough to do anything. I wish I were braver or at least I wish I could react faster. And I hate saying this but there's the selfish side of me that probably wouldn't want Yin How to get involve in fear he would get hurt.
But if I were the victim, I would really wish that the people around would help.
What would you have done? We could say what we would do, but when it really happens, would you be fast enough to react?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
When something like this happens
Posted by Mindy at 10:02 PM
Labels: Thoughts and Comments
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12 comments:
2 years back, I was mugged in one of the alley in Pulau Tikus just next to Maybank (the Yataimura stretch). The motorcyclist just came and pulled my bag, leaving me on the ground, hurt and stunned. He failed to get a hold of my bag though but I was left with a huge bumped on my head, bruises and cuts.
A couple of second after that incident, I yelled, and a dozen of ppl from the St. Xaviers' Old Boys Association and the coffee shop came running out. Some with rod sticks, others came empty-handed but was all ready to do something.
Both me and my mum were too stunned to do anything. I was crying of coz, and shivering out of fear. These ppl were so kind; one brought me into the association, gave me a cup of warm water to calm me down. The nice lady even said "It's okie, everyone here sayang-s you". haha. Some were giving advice not to park in that area anymore. One even offered to drive us to the hospital. These are total strangers. They are probably of the older generation though.
I think the difference between the younger vs the older generation is that, the younger generation has grown up to be more of an individualist. We think of "me" first. If there is a chance for "me" to be in danger, "me" won't help. The Asians are suppose to be more of a collectivist - meaning they tend to work as a team. Human relationship, feelings; all those are important factors in life. But despite being Asians, we are caught up with the individualism culture, which is very much portrayed in the Western culture. Somehow or rather, we become individualist. Perhaps through studying overseas, working for MNCs... I guess that's why we just stand and watch that incident happen.
I may be wrong, but I guess I still believe that there are ppl who are still willing to help; even the young ones. As for me, I've had ppl (total strangers) help me before. Hence, I'm most determined to help in this situation if I'm anywhere near possible to do so.
=) (sorry for writing such a long comment).
Haha, I appreciate your very long comment. :)
What really shocked me with this particular incident is that the guy just walked up to the person and snatched the bag away.
And I do believe that some of the younger ones are willing to help. Just that when it happens, most of us are to stunned to even think of what to do. @.@
hmm... i disagree with some on the points raised. (beware, this will probably be long!)
1. I strongly disagree about the old vs young. I know for sure a lot of old people who would NOT help out. Over the years, my reasoning for this is that they have lived through more difficult times and are therefore programmed to be more concerned for self-preservation. From my observation, older people are actually usually more selfish, have less desire to understand others and less charitable.
2. Many factors affect why the group rushed out near Tai Thong, but no one moved at E-Gate. These include:
- At the kampung there were probably groups of people who know each other, so more likelihood to feel brave in numbers;
- whether consciously or not, over history guys are programmed to want to do things that show they are brave... ie. there are those who would get a kick showing their act of bravado in front of their friends... note that most in the crowd at E-gate probably don't know each other, whilst the people near Tai Thong would talk about it for days at least or would feel the pride amongst their friends for taking part; the alternative in that situation is that their friends were brave but they would be ashamed for not acting too;
- I believe that if the 1 guy who rushed had rushed earlier, or if 1 or 2 more rushed over, then it would have triggered others to rush too. THEN, you would have a crowd. Many reasons for this:
a) Watching them would help push YH out of his frozen state,
b) Everyone knows it is the morally right thing to help, but are afraid or cautious, so watching someone else do it would subconsciously send a signal "Oh! Someone is helping, I should help too!"
c) They can all feel brave together after that, but would feel even worse as guys if they still didn't help when other did.
3. It is NOT old vs young. It depends on the dynamics of the crowd. If the feeling of "old" being more helpful relates to people helping each other out in kampungs, then this really relates to the dynamics of living in a kampung. Unfortunately, if you remove these people and put them in the exact same situation, I believe old or young, the selfishness is inherently the same for the average person.
4. This is important! After having lived amongst Westerners for 8yrs, I VERY VERY STRONGLY disagree with the interpretation of Western individualism and Asian collectiveness. Asians are IMMENSELY MORE SELFISH than Westerners! Asians usually do not care as much for others who are not in their self-interest. Westerners are more genuinely caring for even a stranger. I've been telling people that I feel safer overseas than in Malaysia, and a big part of that is because if anything happens to you in a Western country, NO ONE just watches. People would be rushing from everywhere to help. There will never be such widespread snatch-thefts that happen so openly in the West. Even the ones on TV happen in dark allies with no one in sight, because they know if people are around, they will help. It is only in Malaysia where people are selfish that snatch-thieves get away with it.
Westerners are overall much better friends and better people. I am very sorry to have to say this.
Ahh... I understand where you're coming from now.
Few things (from my perspective, anyway ;) ):
1. Many MNCs in Malaysia are Americans who have a terrible human and work rights record. They don't represent all "westerners".
2. Sadly, it is easier for Westerners to see their Asian plants as just numbers; It is not so easy for Asian bosses.
After all, consider why westerners set up plants in Malaysia - cheap labour, poor work rights. If they wanted to have to treat their employees properly, they would just stay in their home country. I bet for many MNCs, the staff in their westerner offices are treated much better, have better working conditions and benefits.
Can we solely blame the westerners for this? They are just taking advantage of a culture that is already here. Asian bosses are more than happy to make use of their employees, expecting as much work as they can squeeze out of us but with least pay/benefit... look at how we treat our Indo maids n Bangladeshis.
Ask ourselves why we can be taken advantage of like this. It is because our people ourselves do not care about human or work rights, so there is no standard that these MNCs have to obey while they are here!
In western countries, the government TELLS the industries not to lay off too many. In Malaysia, our government politely ASKS the industries to please don't lay off too many...
In this crisis, there are many European & Australian factories/industries, where all employees (through their unions) have agreed to take pay cuts so that no one needs to be laid off. This is possible because of the collectivism amongst them.
However, in Asia, often people would be selfish and each too afraid to lose their jobs than to collect together to make a stand.
Asians are more likely to look after their own self-interest only.
Please also note that when I say Asians here, I mean more Malaysians. In many articles written by westerners (probably including the articles you mention), when they say Asians they are mostly looking at China. The communism collectivism culture in China is not alive here, so their discussions are not applicable.
yeaa... perhaps. but i guess the biggest conclusion of all is, most of us are selfish - to some certain extend we are. sometimes it upsets me, especially if that person (or group of person) claims to be one of your closest friend or a loved one, or family. and when i say everyone, the Asian Westerner thing... doesn't apply anymore.
*sigh* oh well.
hey, i love this discussion that we're having! =)
i love discussions too! :)
i can't agree more that all humans are selfish. guess its our survival instinct. it does hurt/frustrate me sometimes when the selfishness is so needless.. and yes, betrayal hurts most when its a friend or family.
thats why i've come to expect that my closest friends will eventually hurt me one day, and have learnt never to rely on my family... it is sad, but are real lessons from experience so isn't just baseless negativity. i would love not to feel this way, but if it happens time n time again, i think its a proven fact. anyone who believes in goodwill of human relationships have been lucky or are a tad naive... in my personal view.
That's why we all have so much to say. ;)
hahaha... how true how true. :)
honestly, it's not everyday i meet ppl who are open enough to have such discussions. so i'm enjoying every bit of this. :P
i think two things are needed for a discussion, and both are too rare...
1. openness to differing views;
2. to have thought through things enough to have a view.
it's nice to find people who have both :)
For me, I have personally noticed I have this "bad habit" of being frozen & nailed to the ground when I'm in shock. Generally my first respond is not to scream or to react. Somehow my brain is just not wired to reflect that quickly. Hence, i don't know if I would be able to respond fast enough to help. But given the reflects & abilities, I don't think I will hesitate - not at all.
Once, I was at KFC having lunch with my sister at Gallery (near Batu Lanchang market) and two old ladies went on the escalator. While they were heading up the 1st floor, for some reason, the one at bottom (one step below) lost her balance and started to fall backwards. In fear, she couldnt grip the side rails and instead, she frantically reach out to grab whatever that was available..and guess what? she cause the hair of the aunty in front of her. I happened to sit facing the escalator...of cos, I wasted seconds jsut being stunned. And out of no where, I just spontaneously (not instantaneously unfortunately) stood up and rushed to the escalator and supported the falling lady. The only problem was...I did not expect two body weights to come tumbling down on me. The security guard who was on duty only came out of his "resting area" and stood there watching. He was equally stunned. There was a lot of screaming and I have two ladies tumbling down on me. I tried to support both but neither worked and it ended up with them both on the escalator dragging...The screams and squeals are still fresh in my head. Thankfully my cousin who happened to be dining at the same time heard the cries and came running out minutes later and went to stop the escalator. By then, the 1st aunty lost a chunk of hair and her head was bleeding. The other lady lost her slipper in the midst of the struggle (went under the escalator!!) and had a major scratch on her arms. I felt bad for not being able to think fast enough. If only I had known how to support them...I would have done better.
But above all, there are bound to be others who would consider to help or not to help. However, in times of trouble, it is easy for us to judge on those who did reach out and those who didn't. But if you really think about it, sometimes it's just not so logical. I mean..it's an emergency..it's called that way for a reason.
I sure hope the next time we ever come across situations that call for help, we are able to act wisely. Pouncing forward to help may not necessarily be a form of "help" either. Hmm...hard...this is not a good debate. But it's a good sharing :) Let's hope neither of us have to go through such terrible experience :(
i never knew that a slipper could go under the escalator and b4 today could not imagine someone's hair being sucked by an escalator either. i've seen it a few times in movies, but i always thought it was something exaggerated that could only happen in movies. can't believe u saw it in real life!! :O
thanks for sharing with us. i'll be much more careful with escalators from now!
Whoa, I always imagined what it would be like to fall down an escalator. And to have two other person falling on top of you is worst!
Thanks for sharing this. :)
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