Love #2

Somebody asked my feedback for the statement below in twitter

"true love begins when nothing is looked for in return"

That statement stirred a lot of thoughts. And you know la, twitter only allows 140 characters and when replying to someone, adding the username will already take up some characters (which is why it's better to have a short username in twitter). 140 character is not enough for my reply, so decided to blab it all here.

I believe that it's a natural instinct that when you love somebody, you would want them to love you back in return. You'll do the things for him out of love. And it's natural to think that if he loves you as well, he would would do the same for you. That act of hoping he would do the same for you, is already an expectation of getting something in return.

So does it make your love less "true" just because you hope something in return, I don't think so. Because if that's the case, then I doubt anybody's love is true. Do you dare to say that you've never, not even once before, been disappointed with the one you love because of something he did or didn't do. The fact that you were disappointed was because you expected something in return.

So I do not believe that just because you love someone, you don't expect anything in return. In fact, you'll expect even more from the person you love. Take our parents for an example, they sure expect a lot from us. But I guess, then maybe true love is when you still continue loving that person even when that person doesn't give you the things that you expect in return. But is that considered blind love?

Again, I strongly believe that one-side love is not happy love. I expect that if I made sacrifices for the one I love, he must make sacrifices for me as well. I don't think I can sacrifice for a man who doesn't love me in return. I don't care if that makes me selfish because I only have one life, and I fully intend on living it as happily as I can with a man who appreciates me (and of course, if he irons his own clothes, cooks and cleans, that's like extra bonus plus plus points).

My 2 cents. :)

Love

(This is a post I actually wrote a long time ago but I didn't publish and forgot about it until I stumbled over it today.)

A few days ago, I was telling Yin How about all the crushes I had since I was a kid. I think my first crush was when I was in Standard 2 (yes, I started young). I had this crush on my class mate. 2nd crush was on a childhood friend. 3rd crush was when I was in Form 3 on a guy in tuition classes. 4th crush was in Form 4 on a guy from church.

I stopped there. Yin How looked at me waiting and said, “Then?”.
I replied, “Then what? Oh…… no, I never had a crush on you.”

Hehehehehe… (his ego was a bit deflated for a while).

Yin How was my first and only boyfriend. He chased me so I never had an initial crush on him. At that time, at 18 years old, it was really literally, "I like you, be my wife" (I repeat, wife). So simple right? At that time, excited about having my first boyfriend, I thought, “Aiyah… just try try only la, there’s nothing to lose what”…

And because he was there since the beginning, he was always a part in whatever plans I had. We grew up together, graduated from college together, found our first jobs together, put our salaries into one account, bought our first car together, bought our first home together. And then 7 years later I did marry him. And even now, I’m amaze how much I can love a person for so long. I love him even more now than then.

But as simple as things can be, the actual fact is that it's amazing that two people who are biologically so different can live together for the rest of their lives. Men and women were just made to function and think differently. So it does really take A LOT of work and effort in a relationship. But of course, if you both love each other, no amount of work is too hard. And the amount of happiness you’ll gain make is all so worth it.

I have friends who are looking for the love of their live. I have friends with complicated relationships. I have friends who are nervous about getting married.

It all can very simple. He loves you. You love him. He can’t live without you. You can’t live without him. If you have a problem with your partner, compare that problem with the thought of a life without him. See which is worst and you'll get your answer.

Also, he must love you back in return. One-sided love is not a real relationship, it’s a relationship of seeing the things you want to see, and being blind to what you don’t want to see. How long how a relationship like that last? For the rest of your life? Maybe for you, but will he commit to that for the rest of his life as well?

Fairytale romance will not last forever. Sentimental ideas will not last forever. The magical moments portrayed in movies will not last forever. What will last is the reality of waking up every morning, seeing your husband wearing his ugliest shabby pajamas, face unshaven, morning breath so foul that it will send the dogs sneezing and jumping off the bed.

Despite all of that, in your eyes you’ll think he’s still all so sexy in the morning and you'll love him a little more each day.

(Minus the morning breath, of course. That one, really can die wan okay).

My space, my crap

I've been bloggy quiet lately. Don't really blog much. Not that I've gone off blogging. I actually have stuff which I wrote but don't publish. Suddenly feeling my bloggy is very exposed, very public (yea, it took me a year to suddenly realize this, dumb dumb gum gum). Friends, colleagues, relatives reading this. And then suddenly I feel like I can't write whatever crap that's currently in my head. What if it's boring, what if it's lame, what if they don't like it? Why the hell do I put my thoughts out there to be judged?

Hubby taught me something yesterday. When somebody doesn't like you, give them a BIG wonderful smile... and say, "Fuck OFF". :)

Not that I've got any reason to say it to anyone. Just that I shouldn't be obsessing about what others think.
This is my blog, my little space. I'll write the lamest, dumbest, most boring things I want to, if I want to. If I wanna blog about my reoccurring KFC cravings, or my Monday blues, or the silly things the hubby does, or my PMS-y rantings, I should. Because this little bloggy is mine, yes, all mine *psychotic laughter*.

Shall resume blogging about useless crap soon.

Disappointing

I stopped following the politics here because it's just so frustrating. Watching the local news and all the ridiculous stories that make headlines annoy me so I rather watch Oprah.

But this really saddens me. I'm just wondering, if your God is the great God you claim to be, would He say about this? Fighting over a translation of a word when there are so many other things in the world to worry about? Is this the message they teach their children? "Son, you should burn down a church whenever there's a language translation disagreement".

It's just really sad and disappointing.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100107/wl_asia_afp/malaysiareligioncatholicchurchattack

You know you’re a Penangnite (or in Penang)...

When you absolutely know for a fact that there’s no where else in the world that serves better food than Penang (I know Ipoh folks will strongly disagree)

When you’re addicted to Penang Road Laksa and Chendol and Gurney Drive’s Char Keow Teow

Where the dirtier the place, the better the food tastes

When you can eat at table by the drain of a main road, be horrified when you see the bowls and chopsticks thrown near the drain and yet continue happily eating your bowl of curry mee in denial of what you just saw.

When you have a tummy made out of steel to survive the fact mention above. If not, the tummyache is still worth that bowl of curry mee. Eat first, think later. Why? Because it's oh so worth it.

When your main activity during the weekend is eating… and eating…

When you don’t need beautiful girls posing in the PC Fair to attract your attention. Show us your cheapest price and we’ll come rushing in. Money first, looks second.

When finding a legal car parking space by the road along Gurney Drive on a weekend night makes you so happy you’ll want to cry

Whenever there’s a new shopping mall opened, you’ll see half of Penang’s population there. 1 month later, it will be empty.

When in a shopping mall during the weekends, you’ll have to bump into at least one colleague, friend or relative.

When in a shopping mall during the weekends, you’ll have to fight your way through an army of people chasing you trying to sell you credit cards, investment schemes, slimming products, telco promos, balding hair solutions, etc. (does this happen in KL malls as well? I don’t seem to remember such experiences when I’m at KLCC, Midvalley, etc…)

When you wear shorts and slippers anywhere and everywhere (I had to throw a tantrum to convince the hubby to wear jeans instead of shorts to a fine dining restaurant)

When you can be driving in your car surrounded front, back, left, right by a crowd of motorcyclists and not feel intimidated

When you have the ability to turn a 2 lane road into a 4 lane road

When you are able to weave in and out of traffic like one of those old gameboy racing games.

When you know at least one person working in Intel or Dell

When any place can be considered a parking space, including roundabouts and road junctions. Parking summons don’t matter compared to that bowl of laksa or rojak or char keow teow you’re desperately craving for.

When you enter a shop, a lethargic skinny looking teenage salesgirl will follow you round and round. You take one step forward, she’ll take one step forward. You take one step backwards, she’ll take one step backwards like you’re both in a dance routine or something. Front two, cha cha cha. Back two, cha cha cha.

Where prices of landed properties within prime locations on the island are ridiculously high and you think the people who are willing to pay that price are all insane (though you wish you had that kind of money to be just as insane)

When you insist you're not kiamsiap. You just want everything Cheap and Good. What's so wrong about that? :)

What else?


****Updating with more facts left in the comments***

From Anonymous

When you bump into your friend, instead of saying "hello", you say: "Jiak Pah Ah Boi?" or "Un Chuah? Hoh Bo?"

When you had a lousy food, you say: "walau, cannot go (beh khi)!!"

When you always ask for discount, regardless it's promotion item or fixed price item

When you are traped in traffic jam during weekends and/or school holiday, you ask: "why tourist like Penang so much?"

In the strange land

Imagine that you have traveled to a far away land. You are alone and the land and everything with it is strange to you. You know no one there, you have nobody to talk to and you do everything alone.

Then later you start to meet people. And the people are so friendly and make you feel at home. They take you out for lunch, for dinner, for shopping, for sight-seeing. And you end up being so appreciative that because of them this strange land no longer seems so strange anymore.

Then you realize that just being a little friendly makes a whole lot of difference to someone foreign to your land. For you it may just be an hour or two of your time. Or even just a minute to drop by and say Hi. But for them, it made the whole trip so much more enjoyable.

You are thankful. And so you change.
Hopefully, you change for good.

:)

2 books and a green tomato

Book 1: The Memory Keeper's Daughter

A story about a couple during the 60's. Husband was a doctor, wife was a typical wife of the 60's. Wife was in labour with twins and when husband saw that his baby daughter had Down Syndrome, he asked the nurse to take the baby away and lied to his wife that the daughter died. The story goes on from there.

I enjoyed the book, though I was kinda expecting a more dramatic ending.



Book 2: A Thousand Splendid Suns

I loved this book. ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I know I'm loving a book when I read it until late into the night, then wake up the next morning and continue reading it before even getting out of bed. The last time I loved a book so much was Marley and Me.

The Kite Runner revolved around the relationship between 2 Afghanistan boys and this time the author wanted a story about 2 Afghanistan women. The story resolves around two women with very different backgrounds who found themselves in a unlikely beautiful relationship due to the twist of circumstances. The book gives a picture of the sufferings of Afghanistan women living under the terrible Taliban era. Their pain, their desperation, their fight to cling on and survive.

All I can say, I'm glad I'm a woman here and not there. Read the book and you'll start counting your blessings as well.

And not forgetting of my precious growing green tomato. If the doggies want to live long lives, THEY BETTER NOT TOUCH MY TOMATO.

A book and 3 movies

During the weekend I finished reading Eat Pray Love. Despite receiving a lot of bad reviews on Amazon, I still love the book. My take, if you have never been depressed, don't read the book because you won't understand.

Lately I'm actually finding the time to read the books I bought years ago, I even stopped watching so much TV (that's quite a change for somebody who once burst into tears when the TV broke down). I think I'm going through another one of my phases, I know Looi would say I'm entering his stage of life. :)

Watched a few movies. The Kite Runner is a beautiful movie. I saw the book in the stores a lot of times but wasn't interested enough to read it. But I'm glad I watched the movie. Shows what life was like in Afganistan before and after the Taliban era. Watching shows like this and Slumdog Millionare (absolutely loved that movie), I'm thankful for the life I have here.

The Terminator was disappointing. And Public Enemies was so boring that after half an hour, I found it more interesting to go into the bedroom to pluck my eyebrowns. I think Yin How was bored stiff and kept coming into the bedroom to find me but I kicked him out and forced him to watch the movie.

The rule is that whoever decides that buy that movie has to watch it until the end. Why? Because in my opinion Yin How always picks the worst movies. And sometimes it's so bad that even he doesn't want to watch it and we end up wasting money on unwatched DVDs.

I buy movies based on the following criterias;

1. Must NOT be a superhero movie with a ridiculous superhero costumes (except for Batman, because technically Batman does not have superhero powers, only super cool gadgets and.... he doesn't wear a red underwear over a blue suit, he's all in black which is cool)
2. Good reviews, interesting trailer, good story line (I actually sometimes do research about a movie before I watch it) or Oscar nominated
   
3. Especially digg movies about life with a lesson to learn or action triller movies with a good storyline (not those filled with mindless shooting)
   

He buys anything as long as the DVD cover has the following criteria:

1. Anything related to war (it can be any war... WW1, WW2, the Iraq war, the Vietnam war, whatever...)
   
2. Anything with guns
3. Anything with beautiful girls
4. Anything with war, guns and beautiful girls (considered a bonus movie to him)
   

I've developed the ability to fall asleep during the movies he picks despite the sound of non-stop flying bullets magnified on the home theater system. And he falls asleep instantly when I put on one of those Oscar nominated movies with lots of dialog.

So that's how we usually watch movies together. At the very least we still accompany each other, even though it means one of us is usually deep in la-la land. :)

Ignorance vs. reality - take 2

Was going to post this as a comment to the previous post, but the comment became too long. :)

Honestly I was once naive. And I was once one of those who arrogantly believe that good things will happen to good people. But there's not always true in reality. You'll either have to fight to survive or just give up and fall back. I've dealt some people who were so selfish, I got burnt in the end. So sometimes, we have to be selfish in return to protect ourselves.

Some people are sheltered all of their lives. And when we have children, we tend to protect them the best we can as well. But is there such thing as being over-protective? I think so.

A lot of us still have our parent's protection until now. Whenever something difficult happens, we can run back to our parents who will instinctively protect or help us. But if you have lost that kind of protection at a young age or worst, if the child had to become the mature one instead of the parent, it's a whole different story. You have been surviving without that kind of protection for a long time.

I think that during the older times, our parent's parents do not shelter them as much as the parents today who over-protect their children.

My point is, if you lose that sheltered protection especially when you're young, only then will you realize how sheltered others are. And sometimes what other people take for granted, you'll have to work 10 times harder just to get it.

Most of the time, people who only believe in good are people who never really had a bad experience in life before. Because when you have gone through a bad experience, you'll realize that whether you like it or not, there will be good and bad in life and sometimes you can't control it. Sometimes it's not a matter of choice. It just happens. You can still continue to believe in good, but it's with the realization that it's not something to be taken for granted, it's not something that will always happen for sure just because you think so.

If you believe that "buat baik dibalas baik", so this means that "buat buruk dibalas buruk"? So meaning, for example, all people who die of cancer must be really bad people? Or children born into an abusive home must be because they are born bad?

I know some really good people who had to deal with really bad things. And I know of some shitty people who seem to have everything good happening for them. So no, I do not believe that just because you do good means only good will happen to you.

Yes, some bad things can be handled by the how we decide to handle it and the choices we make. But some things just can't. Like can you choose who your parents are? Can you choose to be born healthy? Can you gurantee that tomorrow when you go out, you won't be killed by a drunk driver? Some bad things just cannot be controlled no matter how good a person you are.

For me, I do not believe the world is a good world. I believe that the world is a world of both good and bad. Some of us get more bad then others. But like you commented, there's always something positive to take from it, which are the lessons you learn on the way. And it makes you stronger and not give up so easily whenever something bad comes along. And if you handle it right, it makes you a better, wiser and a more mature person.


BTW, no shit has happened to me recently. This topic popped up as a discussion Yin How and I were having yesterday. :)

Ignorance vs. reality

Let's face it, life is not always full of sugar and spice and everything nice. Sometimes life is just shitty. But there are people who think that as long as they do what is right, then everything will always be sunny and bright. And when these people are warned that things may not always be as simple as they think, they arrogantly insist that good things will happen to good people.

So the question is, would you rather be that naive sheltered person who believes that life will be good just because they have never through a bad experience? Ignorance is bliss after all.

Or would you rather someone who has been seasoned with bad experiences and survived it coming out hopefully stronger and wiser than before?

Probably a dumb question. Who would want to go through bad experiences? But the fact is that shit happens, more so to certain people.

Comfy nia

I bought one of those exercise blouses which comes with padding and support so there's no need to wear a bra. IT'S SO DARN COMFORTABLE.

Guys should appreciate the fact that they don't have to wear bras. It's not fair.

I'm sorry, I can't help it... just feeling terlalu comfortable right now.

Short is life

Sometimes we think we have all the time in the world so we keep postponing the stuff we should be doing with our love ones, ignoring the guilt of not doing it today by saying we will do it tomorrow.

Until one day we turn around and they are gone forever. And at that moment the realization which comes too late come crashing down along with of the regrets of yesterday.


If I knew there isn't much time left I would

1. Tell my hubby that he's the greatest hubby in the world and that he continues to amaze me with his patience and kindness towards everybody. I learn to be a better person from him and if I could just be half the kind person he is, I would be happy.
2. Tell my sister that she's a strong person with a good heart, just that she has to believe in herself.
3. Tell my childhood friends that finding friends who grew up with me and shared the happiest and saddest moments in life together along the way are truly a treasure
4. Tell my boss that he's a great boss for putting up with me ;)
5. Probably go to Disneyland and spend all my money in the "happiest place on the earth".
   

There, I said what I needed to say. Once less regret of yesterday. :)

When something like this happens

It's very common to receive forwarded emails or read articles in the newspaper about snatch thieves. And when we do, we usually make a note to be careful ourselves, then probably forget about the story the next minute. You'll probably do the same after reading this. But if you witness it, you'll get a different feeling.

Yin How and I were walking back from Tesco just now and was almost reaching home when we heard a girl screaming across the road near E-Gate. It was dark and they were blocked from our view by the cars parked by the roadside. We couldn't really see what was going on so at first we thought it was a bunch of girls playing a fool until the screaming got a little more serious. When it finally registered in our heads that there was a guy trying to snatch her bag, we were stunned and just froze. And before we could snap out of our shock, the guy snatched the bag away, coolly walked away, jumped onto his friend's bike and they sped away.

When the girl was screaming, there were people around. There were the guards at E-Gate who should have been quite near, there were guards at Bayswater just across the street and there were a few passersby besides Yin How and I. And when it happened, only 1 guy rushed to help but was too late. After the snatch thieves sped away, I saw the E-Gate guards walk towards the victims.

Yin How and I felt really bad for not helping. But at that moment, we were confused then shocked and we just froze. Yin How wished he did something to help but he was just too stunned. And I'm even ashamed to admit that at that moment I felt like I should just stay out of the trouble instead of helping. And it all happened so fast.

This is the not the first time something like this happened to us. Once Yin How and I were going for dimsum at Thai Thong. We found a parking spot and happily parked the car. As we opened the doors to go out, we heard a commotion of people yelling. I quickly told Yin How to close the doors and lock it. A moment later, we saw a huge crowd of people chasing an Indian guy. He struggled from their grasp and fell onto the bonnet of our car. The crowd caught up with him, pinned him against the bonnet of my car at started hitting him with a bike helmet while Yin How and I were sitting in the car in total shock watching the whole incident.

The difference between that incident with what happened today is that the whole kampung of old people rushed out of their shops/restaurants to help catch the snatch thief. Unlike today where most of us who were younger adults just stood and stared. I remember that Fly.fm was once discussing about this. The older generation are more likely to help out compared to the younger generation when something like this happens. I have to agree, we tend to have the "just stay out of trouble" mentality.

Honestly if the same incident happened to me again, I don't know whether I would be brave enough to do anything. I wish I were braver or at least I wish I could react faster. And I hate saying this but there's the selfish side of me that probably wouldn't want Yin How to get involve in fear he would get hurt.

But if I were the victim, I would really wish that the people around would help.

What would you have done? We could say what we would do, but when it really happens, would you be fast enough to react?

Home

I am so sleepy. I came home late from work yesterday to an annoyed hubby who was waiting for me for dinner. But the annoyed hubby didn't complain because the annoyed hubby is a nice hubby.

At night I forced myself to stay awake because I wanted to watch Home, the film about Earth. The first 10 minutes was boring, but the rest of the film was eye opening. If you haven't watched it, you really should. When I watched it, it reminded me all those civilation stragety games I used to play where the people look like little ants. Except that this is all real.

Some people don't care about going green at all. Some people blogged that Earth Hour was for idiots. Some people used Earth Hour as an excuse to countdown to a street party.

But whatever you think about it, it doesn't change the fact about what's happening to our earth.

People don't care because they are living in ignorance or couldn't be bothered or they feel that they wouldn't make much difference. But using that as an excuse doesn't make it right. When I saw Ian bring his own carrier to the restaurant to takeaway food to avoid using plastic bags, I was inspired. When I saw Mun Yi make a stop at a petrol station to throw her trash into the recyling bins, I was inspired. So you'll never know who you are inspiring by just doing your own little part.

Anyway, I babbled so much about the film to Yin How the next day. And he's now inspired to do his part. I'm not planning to turn into a green freak, but at least now I think twice before I throw stuff straight into the bin and I try to remember bring my big green bag when I do grocery shopping.

It just feels good doing a teeny weeny part for earth.

You know you're getting older....

1. When the radio plays an old boy band or girl band song from your decade and you start grinning like a maniac
2. When you start saying things like, “You know ah… during my days, McD value set only cost RM5… now it’s so expensive!”
3. When you start scanning through your face to find any new wrinkles or spots
4. When you start getting gray hair (Sob!)
5. When you find Miley Cyrus, the Jonah Brothers and High School Musical irritating
6. When everything you eat goes straight to your waist… and decides to stay there.
7. When the mother-in-law starts to get anxious why there’s no production of grandchildren yet
8. When work gets tougher and tougher and you start thinking about what you wanna do for the rest of your life
9. When the main conservation you usually have with friends are about who is married and who has kids already
10. When you go out for a late night out and look like shit the next day
11. When you cannot remember the lyrics to Negaru-ku, or the title of your state song, and totally cannot recall what your school song used to be
12. When you cannot solve a simple maths problem without the use of your handphone calculator
    
13. When (if you’re a guy), you no longer have the guts to say “Phew-wit, can I be your friend?” to pick up a pretty girl (a strategy which the young Yin How used to use)
14. When you start going through weird phases, like suddenly wanting to draw and color pictures everyday for 2 weeks, and suddenly stop, leaving the color pencils to collect dust.
15. When you're smiling while reading everything above
    

Yes, my friends, we may not be so old yet... but we are getting older... ;)

In a blink of an eye

It’s Monday again. And the cycle begins again.

Sometimes I feel like I fall into such routine which keeps repeating again and again that I’m struggling just to keep up.

I wake up on Monday morning, drag myself out of bed, get ready, drive off to work, all it’s all so routine it almost like I do it unconsciously and the next I know, *blink* I’m already in my cubicle sighing.

Then the whole working day goes by with me just trying to keep my head above the flood of incoming work, *blink* it’s time to go home and *blink* I’m already home. If I’m home first, then I’ll rush to cook dinner, if not hubby would have cooked. Then there’s the washing up to do, cleaning up after the dogs, feeding the dogs, *blink* it’s already 8pm. Watch TV, bathe, *blink* time to kiss hubby and say goodnite.

Then *blink*, *blink*, *blink* and it’s Friday again and I always remember Fridays because it’s the day of the week where I’m always in a good mood. And finally the glorious weekend arrives.. ahhhh….. But the weekend is busy, doing chores, running errands, grocery shopping, meeting up with friends, visiting relatives and *blink* it’s Sunday night where I usually will cook my pot of soup and prepare food in the freezer for the whole coming week.

And *blink*, here I am in my cubicle on Monday again. Where the heck did the whole week go? #@$@%

And the scarier question is, how much more busier will life be in the future when I enter the next stage of life?

And will I one day blink and find that most of life has already passed by but I was too busy?

A few lessons learnt

Private bla bla bla

The last thing I took home from the family gathering was an advice that my uncle gave me which really hit something within me. Before he hugged me and said goodbye, he said,

"Yin How treats you like a princess. Make sure you treat him like a prince."

Something I will constantly remind myself from now on.

What would you do?

What would you do if you feel unappreciated? Would you continue to do the things you always do even though you feel unappreciated? Or you would you stop caring and stop whatever you do since it's not appreciated?

What would do you if you're not happy about something that a person does or doesn't do? Would you try to change him so that you'll be happy? Or do you accept him as who he is even though you know it won't make you happy?

What would you do if you know you know you have no interest in something? Would you continue doing something you do not like for stability? Or would you put everything to risk to do something you're passionate about?

What would you do?

Crying

Yin How can't understand why I cry. Yin How never cries. Throughout our nine years of relationship, I've only seen him cry not more than 5 times. Quote from my sister, he has "emotional constipation". Crying is a sign of weakness. In the cinema watching Marley and Me, I kept touching his eyes to see whether he cried but they were totally dry. His tear ducts are so under-utilized.

I, on the other hand, cry and cry and cry. To me crying is a way to release all the negative energy within me. And after a good cry, I'm able to jump and around and joke away with my eyes still swollen red and smaller than how small they already are. It's good to cry, I usually feel fresh and light and happy after that, unlike Mr. I'm-always-in-a-bad-mood-from-Mondays-to-Fridays. It's why woman live longer than men (that's what I think anyway).

So is it so wrong to cry?

Hard, harder, hardest

I’ve been quiet lately. When the boss is not around at work, my stress level goes up a little higher.

I honestly don't know how he can do it on a daily basis, sitting for meetings after meetings where all the managers from different departments attend and when everybody in the cross-functional meeting was asked to introduce themselves, everybody mentioned they had 8 - 12 years of experience, some worked so long they can't remember how many years, which made me feel tiny, tinier, then tiniest, which made me whisper a little too loudly to the person next to me, "I think I'm the youngest", which some of them heard and made them laugh, which made me say when I introduced myself, "I've been working for 4 and a half years", unconsciously hoping that adding the "half a year" would make it sound like I'm not so tiny among all the very experienced managers sitting there. ;)

Anyway, I need to state some facts about being an engineer in this gray company I work for.

Fact #1: Being an engineer is hard.
It requires a lot of brain juice to survive. I’m proud to be working with a lot of intelligent people, but there’s always the pressure to produce as much brain juice as them.

Fact #2: Being a software engineer who has to understand how the hardware works is harder.
You may be a software expert, but the software has to understand the hardware and you don't understand the hardware. So how leh? More brain juice required.

Fact #3: Being a software engineer who has to understand how the hardware works but has no passion for hardware is the hardest.
Brain juice is not the only thing needed. Without passion, it's hard to produce brain juice on a daily basis. Then eventually, the brain juice may dry up and the brain halts to a stand still.

Conclusion of all 3 facts
Boss = passion + brain juice (a lot of it).

Sooooooo....... Next time you’re enjoying your latest new cool electronic device, take just one second to think of the hundreds of engineers dried up all the brain juice, cracking their head for hours trying come out with the latest technology to make life better for you.

It's just one second of thought. :)